In the mirror that I see

I AM here, but really, AM I?
All I see is my eyes, my eyes in the darkness. Like two flames burning into my skull, melting my eye balls and my skin and flesh, making me scream in pain. Like a nightmare, crawling on my elbows and knees towards the light, but the light it’s darkness and it’s eating me alive.

I have to get there, I need to tell the light what is going on, what I know and feel. I feel, I feel, I feel! I feel it growing in me and I’m in pain!

The pain cracks through my bones towards my heart, it’s in me now, it’s in my veins, creeping into my soul, to eat me from inside.

„I need you!” I say in the darkness, in the abyss of my existence lying to myself I’m alive.

But am I? Can you reveal it to me? Could you teach me and show my life to me?

But my mind responds to me in a harsh voice.

I am here with you, I am the pain in you, I am also the love. Oh yes, the love you are hiding behind to get rid of me, that little bitchy thing you are so happy about, spending me because of it, terrorising my mighty being, killing me with your stubbornness, with your determination not to see, not to dream at me and set me free in that thick skull of yours, crushing me with your boredom, with your incapacity to understand why I AM, why I exist in you, WHY I EXIST, you fuck!

You think you exist? IT’S ME, IT IS ONLY ME, Me, allowing you to express yourself through Me.

You don’t exist, you just aren’t, you prick! You don’t know, stick that into your stupid head YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING, ANYTHING! Any-fucking-thing, you don’t know. YOU JUST DON’T!

So, listen to me now, don’t speak, don’t even think, You Don’t, Just d… You have to see and listen before you understand. But see? You do not understand because you are trying to see. DON’T DO THAT! Do not use your eyes, you just cannot see that way. Don’t try, don’t even think to do it.

YOU DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING, REMEMBER?

So shut up and burn your eyes so you could not see the truth that is burning me. The truth that can make you ashes, that can terminate my life.

I live inside you an I always hunger. All I need is the blood, all I need is your life fluid, I need it because otherwise I’ll die. Gimme your blood, gimme your pain an make it mine, because it is mine. Your pain is mine. You are mine now, all is mine through you.
My pain is mine and only mine. I do not share it. I embrace it, I hug it close, I love it cuz it’s mine. It’s mine and you know it!
I do not, I do not share it! The pain is mine!

It’s crushing me, but it’s so sweet when I touch it, when I close my flames burning inside me, making me ash and returning me to the soul of the nothingness, of the burning bush, of the earth and I crumble inside me, within my soul… within my being.

You better know my name, cuz I am God and I am also thy soul. Without me you are dead, you just don’t exist. I’m telling you, you do not exist!

Just know, now you can see that.
Do you know me now? Do you, do ya, you stupid little thing, do you now?
Everything, that’s who I AM!

…the name is Passion.